I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
