Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
