exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
