well I can't set my house on fire every night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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