While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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