My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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