Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Damn victory sex feels great
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
