i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
