So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
