cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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