physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
