Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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