Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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