Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
