Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This toilet bowl is my home.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
