jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
