she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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