The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
