May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
