3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
