Please don't use social media to get back at me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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