The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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