Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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