It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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