i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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