My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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