So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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