Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
