D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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