Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize