Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize