I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize