This is not my ceiling
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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