hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
