Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
