Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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