Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
