I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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