I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
