this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
