No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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