Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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