oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
