You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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