I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
