So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
