His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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