About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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