I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
