Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
