is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
