Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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