Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
