My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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