dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
