your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
