Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
