He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
